Lost Identity

The nature of the human is some kind of amnesia. We get born on the Earth and spend our lifetimes trying to figure out who we are. By "we" I mean every individual but also humanity in the whole. Perhaps, even the whole world - what the hell is going on here?
You may not guess, but I am watching "Bourne-Identity" movies. And they are mesmerising for no apparent reason.
Interestingly, one of the "Bourne" movies was the last fun activity we did with my ex-husband before we've got divorced. I think it was the only entertainment thing that equally amused us both. Then we've got divorced. I think Bourne movies had nothing to do with that. But who knows. At that stage of my life, I had an interesting perception that things can be made "right". Like, you know, marry the right person, have kids, work, and that together will somehow guarantee some general "life worth living". Or, bringing it back to the topic, it will offer you some identity position in life and the validity of this position. And this identity will make you less lost in the chaos of the universe. Well, I have some good reasons to believe that this won't happen.
Instead, life is like a Bourne movie. Let me talk about myself now in case someone does not experience life in this way. In the generally disoriented situation, sometimes, I find that I possess some skills, which mysteriously present themselves when the need arrives (just like Bourne's multiple languages and fighting skills). The kind of skills that I never knew existed. Then totally meaningless events sometimes arrange themselves and become pieces of a puzzle, which starts making sense. Not the whole puzzle but some pieces of it. It is often something spread in time. I ask a question, get a totally random answer, and then years later discover that this answer has given me some vital knowledge. Really vital. Something that saved my life, for example. And through these pieces of the puzzle, some understanding of the reality emerges.
There are certainly some fun hypotheses around that. For example, it could be that everything has already happened, maybe even many times. Then there is an obvious need to fit the events so that they produce the relevant result. That's quite a weak hypothesis. Another one is that we all are a gigantic super-computer trying to find an answer to the universe (which is 42 by the way). This is nothing new of course. But I am seeing glimpses of a more coherent theory. It avoids me for now.
And to add on a positive note, our monk today told us that the law of karma says that a person who kills an animal will be reborn as this animal in the next life. Since we are growing and killing cows for food, I understand now why there are so many cows!