Cats, Summer, and Future

Today, I needed some inspiration. And when this happens, I go home, I mean, I read science fiction.

I re-opened Heinlein's "The Door into Summer" - and once again realised that I am anything but a separate being. Of course, I read it when I was young, of course, I am longing for an eternal summer.
"...that unpleasant white stuff" - do I ever call snow anything else?
Of course, I make cats their own doors and, of course, they still bully me into opening mines. How predictable...
Sometimes, I read a novel and my life painfully re-appears in front of my eyes: predicted by someone who never knew me. Or - wait, am I just their imagination?

Image stolen from "Simon's Cat" (TM)

How to Explain your Research Topic to an Academic

I find it generally easy to explain my research to the common folks: there's always something that a person knows and that I build on to lead her or him to my research topic. At the very least, up until now anyone who had any interest in my studies, could talk. And talking is close enough to my topic.
But when it comes to academics, the story is totally different. Academics know too much in a surprisingly limited slice of the world. And fairly enough, my research is also a very thin slice of the reality (Of course, I have to leave some work for other aspiring Ph.D.s to do. Grin).

That is how the conversation goes. - So tell me, what is the topic of your research?
- Well, there's a 4th planet in the 267th dwarf solar system of the Messier 82 of the M81 group system..
- Ah, so you are using the galactical theory of dwarf planets!
- No, wait. on that planet..
- Ah, so why don't you use the theory of on external galactical surfaces?
- uhm, well, it's not exactly what I am looking at. On that surface, there are different species..
- So why don't you just use cosmobiology?
- Well, it's ...yeah, it is cosmobiology, but these species are called stones
- I don't understand..
- yes, so these stones are actually carbon-based living creatures
- I knew it! You are researching the carbon-based theory of life!
- No. These creatures are distinguished by colour: blue and yellow stones..
- Wait, so you are into the spectral analysis?
- Noooo, not at all. The thing is these colours are actually the attributes of time. The same stone is visible on that planet by an observer, but when its colour is blue, it is not actually present, it is its temporal shadow..
- I have never heard of such theory. You must read "Time and Astronomy", it explains everything about what you are trying to do...
That being said, my research has nothing to do with forms of life or colours (well, almost nothing) but a colourful metaphor makes my burden lighter (despite the stones). I am not complaining, after all, I am interested in communication.


P.S. The whole conversation is totally made up. Of course.

Sunday Musings about Genetic Modification and our Abundant Future

Last year, I made a presentation about our unsustainable treatment of animals and plants. One of my concerns was the possibility of turning the Earth into a bacteria-governed cemetery of the human civilization. Now, I see that my concern was totally ungrounded!

Thanks to the Genetic Modification (GM), we have the technology to interbreed with that same bacteria that is thriving on chemical waste. Apparently, for now, we are only eating the mixed-breed children of these bacteria. But a human body is 90% bacteria, bacteria with their own DNA and their own ways of life. How do these guys welcome the arrival of the chemical-waste bacteria DNA? Interesting question...
There is evidence that this new DNA stays with us. What does it do without its favourite chemical waste meal? Maybe we should add a serving of RoundUp to our daily vitamin supplement. And then the future of the pollution is not so much of a problem - eventually, we'll just eat it :)
This was my evidence-based but far-fetched conclusion set-up for an upcoming science fiction novel.
P.S. I am surprised that a substantial portion of my superficial thinking was elaborated by other scientists, see for example here.

Image courtesy of https://alternativeeating.wordpress.com

Keep breaking your heart until it opens

"Keep breaking your heart until it opens" - I have read this quote some time ago and it has risen an immediate disagreement with me. Why should anyone break their heart - on purpose? Isn't it plain stupid? Isn't a broken heart just a consequence of stupid actions, unjustified beliefs, and eventually a plain rejection of the reality?
I kept the image with the quote on my cellphone, partially as a reminder that at least someone thinks that such stupidity has some benefit in it. Well, someone also said that we learn from our mistakes, but somehow a "broken heart" category seems to be hard to learn from. Despite our beliefs about classifications, situations and people are so different that it is hard to generalise.
And now I am reading Pema Chodron, and she gives such a beautiful answer: A "..broken heart.." is "..our link with all those who have ever loved". Indeed, here's the meaning, here's why it is not a loss, not a stupidity. You may lose one person but connect with everyone who suffers. Pain, loss, grief - these experiences are not unique. Thousands of people are suffering right now. If you are suffering yourself, you are not alone. You are just a part of this universe, where joy and sorrow are just present.
“The experience of being free of fixed mind often happens because of trauma or crisis,” says Pema Chodron. And this is another gift of a tragedy. It is that moment when the perceptions fall and life remains just as it is: momentous, unglorified, uncertain.
“When you feel bad, let it be your link to others’ suffering. When you feel good, let it be your link with others’ joy.”(Pema Chodron).

Meditation or Art

The meditation today started with Ven Chai comparing meditation with art. And this art has defined my experience today.

Indeed: art, flow, passion - these are the most cherished experienced when our life just seems "right". When it is not a struggle anymore. I also remember that this is how childhood was - everything was perceived good most of the time.

And my meditation turned very arty: I was feeling rather tired, so my body welcomed my comfortable seated position, and drowsy warmth covered my skin. After the instruction to visualise a shiny sphere, I saw a tree.

Or, rather a crown of a tree - bright green, warm and leafy. I thought to myself that I've been looking at the trees a bit too much lately and tried to turn the tree into an orange sphere of light. It did not turn. Instead, my brain decided to take me on a ride to different beautiful places: we saw trees, flowers, sparkling pools, grassy paths. The images were interrupted now and then by me remembering that I am still looking for the sphere. In the end, I saw myself reading some scientific article, but once I realised that I am reading it, all the letters turned into Thai alphabet, and I could not read anymore. So I started to look for the sphere again.

I thought that usually it is easy for me to start visualising the sphere because it happens as I think of peace and happiness, which has its origin in the centre of my body, within this sphere of light. But today I was so happy and peaceful that I could not ask for any more happiness. I could imagine the sphere, but it was rather small and not particularly shiny, rather just a lovely orange circle. And then I thought that maybe that sphere is so difficult to see the sphere inside of my body because instead - my body is inside the sphere. I also remembered Ven Chai's recommendation to look into the inside of the sphere.  And indeed, once I changed my perspective, I realized that the contours of my body are no longer shaped as my body, but rather smooth and similar to an egg in shape. And the contour is a soft light - warm and orange, this light is what makes me feel so comfortable. And there's nothing inside me, nothing to disturb my peace.

I think I could have stayed there for forever. But then the class ended. 

Recently, my friend Ravi told me a story about a monk who has been meditating for 200 years. Ravi questioned, why the monk stayed meditating for so long. Now, I have the answer: nobody just told him that the session is over!

What makes Memories?

I wonder what makes the memories? There are certain events that have left me with the most vivid unforgettable memories (some of these events are my dreams). Yet, writing my master's dissertation, has left practically no memories, though it has profoundly changed me. I can easily say that I became my master's thesis, however, I most completely do not remember writing it.
Now, that I have written it, I have a hypothesis. I think it is a sudden change that is to blame. Gradual achievements accumulate step by step almost unnoticed for the brain. I also never remember running Comrades - another significant life-changing experience. Step-by-step - it is the same, and just suddenly you are 90 km away from the start. That was the same with my master's - step by step, starting from Peter Drucker's works - and suddenly, I am a different person, criticizing relentless and thoughtless money-making. "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all."

On the contrary, I vividly remember a bright green grass dream in some gray cold winter in my childhood. It was so different and happy. Change..difference...A brain is a funny tool. And change is good - at the very least - for the memories!

Travel: Stunning Maputo

There's nothing more amazing in life than the freedom to be someone else every day. And there is no better way to achieve it than by travelling.

When you travel - do it alone. Leave your ordinary world behind and see what else the universe has to offer you. You will be surprised.

My Maputo trip was planned as a journey of another life. My luggage consisted of a backpack with a towel (hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy got it right - it is the most important travelling accessory!), scarf (some fashion magazine got this part right), spare t-shirt, socks, underwear, 2 water bottles (the most difficult thing to get when you need it!).   I had R400 in my pockets, no car, and by pure coincidence - no watch or other means to track time (I forgot my watch at home).

Cellphone – I had it with me, but I had to switch it off. Its battery runs flat sometimes in just one hour. And I needed it on my way back to call Uber. So the moment I got to the bus station, I switched it off and, for the extra confidence, took the battery out and put it in another pocket. From that point on I had to track time by the sun, and with the help of those around me.

Uber ride was blissfully fast. I was too early to the station. Another hour of wandering around, chatting to the coffee-shop attendant, meeting an unfriendly girl who was also going to Maputo and was asking me if the bus has arrived already. It wasn’t at that time, but soon enough it did.

It was empty, and I was in a happy delusion hoping to take the two seats joined together to sleep. Unfortunately, the sleep wasn't long. The moment we got to Park Station, the bus was full, and I've got a seat neighbour, who luckily was very skinny. I regretfully thought that I should have taken a seat next to a woman for more comfort, but it was too late. Luckily I slept very well.

The morning started with the bus stopped. I looked out of the window and saw stationary cars next to us. The well-known queue at the border! Sigh. I got off my seat and went to the other side of the bus where the window was bigger. Gosh, the view! It was one of the most beautiful landscapes I ever saw. In the glen below there was a river, with boulders and trees on the sides. Warm green vegetation and deliciously lime-coloured pastures were closer to the horizon. I decided to stand there and just absorb the beauty for as long as it takes. I did not have any idea of the time, and there was nothing to do about the queue either, so I just absorbed what was good. The passengers swiftly switched to Portuguese - strangely enough, since at Park Station everyone was speaking Zulu. I lazily thought that I am the only white person on this bus - I often find myself in situations like that. I listened to Portuguese, trying to adjust my ear.

The time passed - it always does somehow. The border was very confusing - the driver told us to join the queue at the immigration, and then walk straight, and he will see us at the other side. The kind of instruction that drives me insane. Which "other side"? Where? I hoped for some signs - but there was none.

Crowds of people were all busy walking, selling something, offering cell contracts, meticals, food, drinks, and anything you can ever think of. Used to South African danger and the endless begging typical to the other African countries - I stayed away from all the vendors and just walked. The girl that I met at the Midrand station was there again, but somehow by that time she forgot how to speak English, so she could not help. Eventually, I started to ask the officially looking men in uniform, and they directed me forward and forward, and finally I saw our bus. Got in, some more time waiting. Goats and chicken were wandering around. I remembered some children’s story about a little goat who was wandering from one owner to another as I was watching a little goat from the village crossing the motorway and boldly walking further and further to the South African side. The goat looked very determined and totally unbothered by the border control.

Finally the ride to Maputo! Now it became interesting. I was happy about my window seat. The fields on the side of the road were scattered with half-built houses, occasional people working on the fields, tuck shops. All seemingly unrelated and in the middle of nowhere. Long brick wall starting at one point and lasting for about 500m - what was its function? Separate the road from what? The sea was visible in the distance.

Finally, I've remembered my intention to meet some locals and decided to chat to my neighbour. He told me that he is from Maputo, but lived in SA since 1998. He is going back when the kids are finishing school. We've exchanged numbers, and he promised to help me to buy some land around Maputo if I decide to relocate. His brother is married to a German lady. This fact was supposed to be a uniting common ground, as I was thought to be a German too. He was surprised that I don't speak German (I guess I should since so many people believe I am German).

And we arrived. Long circle around Maputo. What a beautiful city - everything is there: the sea, a port, a train station, tall buildings: new and old, neat colonial houses, trees, beaches. My plan was to take it easy and just walk around and see what is there. First I stumbled upon a geological museum, which I walked in but could not visit since it required a cash payment. Another attempt - a bookstore – tried to buy a children’s book in Portuguese - those are wonderful to learn a language - again no luck with any of my standard bank cards. Ok, let's try an ATM – now: “this type of card is not accepted”. SA banks make unique payment cards - never had problems with any other cards.

Luckily I found a shopping centre and – yay! – Finally, a clean toilet, water, soap. Now I could change: the pleasure of a clean t-shirt is one of the life gifts that we forget. Feeling suddenly energised I was ready to explore the city. The same shopping centre had a currency exchange, which got me some Meticals for my Rands, a new bottle of water and the information about the time in one of the watch shops. 1:30 pm -good enough to explore the beach and walk around a bit more in the evening. Following the instructions from my bus neighbour, I made my way to the beach promenade and thoroughly enjoyed it. Relaxed pedestrians of all ages, occasional bike or a car. And no vendors! Gosh, what a pleasure! How much I dread the experience of constant attention from these tourist predators! Nothing worse than being seen as a walking ATM by multiple locals who endlessly offer you unnecessary services. And here - such a breath! No one bothered me. Even those who were selling peanuts and cell contracts were very polite. I went all the way to the beach and realised that this is the ultimate destination. If my life ended there - I would wish for no more. The ultimate purpose of life is to lie under a palm tree listening to the sound of waves.

Of course, I did get back, but this is a totally another story.

Delusion and Reality Check

 

I was always fascinated with human values (cultural included). South Africa is a curious country from this point of view because researchers collect information separately on white and black population: totally overthrowing our aspirations of “Proudly South African”.  Today I was looking (in the millionth time) at GLOBE value survey wondering if there was a reason to separate white and black south african population. From the first sight the values were following the same trend even if the exact numbers were different.

Being preoccupied with how delusional people whom I encounter are, I've decided to quickly calculate “Delusion-ment Index”. The name is a bit affected by my mood, in a very positive view you can even call it “Aspiration Index”, hmmm. What I measured was the mean difference between what society thinks it should be and what it actually is (from the values point of view). Or in plain speech, the difference between what people say and what people actually do. 

I guess I found my answers – indeed there's a good reason to measure black and white population in SA differently. Delusionment index for black population is 9% whereas for white is the whole 35%. Hmmm... looks like a time for a reality check ;) :) :)  

On the positive side, the data is 11 years old, we can hope for some improvement. Though my sentiment here is more towards more blending, I have no opinion about improvement.

Please don't rush to apply these conclusions to your white and black friends – statistics is not psychology. But share your thoughts while I am calculating delusion-ment of other societies...

References:
GLOBE-Phase-2-Aggregated-Societal-Level-Data-for-Society-Culture-Scales-May-17-2004

The Intangible Factors of your Organisation's Success

Religions and psychologists have been preaching for ages that on the long run, it's not the circumstances, but your beliefs/values that define your life. Values are in fact long standing beliefs, so in the context of this post I use them interchangeably. Values shape our lives - what we believe in defines how we act and what we strive for. Personal values are the main driving forces of our decisions, and they also shape organisational values when people come together to do something for – hopefully – mutual benefit. And vice versa – organisational values usually demand compliance and affect people's actions.

Everyone is talking about sustainability now. But since it became such a buzzword, it's losing is meaning. I want to talk about resilience. Resilience is what your values are driving. Your circumstances may be good or bad, but they are usually not permanent. Resilience (and value mix underlying it) will drag you through the bad time; then the good times will bring their rewards. It is the same for an organisation. Of course business needs money to survive. That's financial sustainability. In our neoclassical economics world, so many things are driven by money, that even environmental protection is driven by it. How much is the solar power business? How painful are the penalties for CO2 emissions? What are the fines for environmental noncompliance? Seems that everything gets measured by money.

However, not everything is so simple. If your employees are driven by money – will it bring money to your business? The research shows that - maybe in a short term. But how amazing it is that dominant financial values in a person usually come together with dishonesty, unsubstantiated risk and other financially damaging behaviors. Maybe, on the long run, your financially driven manager will simply bankrupt your organisation.

And on the other hand, employees with a good balance of environmental and social values are actually good guardians of your financial success. And as an extra benefit are usually much more pleasant people to work with. Now that's about whom to hire. But don't forget that organisational values will change everyone's behavior, even those with a good balance may start behaving like freaks if your organisation promotes it. Research proven :)

Do we need intelligent machines?

Continuing the topic of artificial intelligence based on brain-like network structure. Yes, we can potentially replicate the structure of the brain, and the steps in that direction are already made. This artificial memory-processing units will have the potential learn and recognise patterns and develop understanding of things like symbols, metaphors, art, indirect meanings etc.

However, the potential does not mean reality. How can a computer gain the same interpretations of symbols as human brain unless the machine experiences the same reality? Meaning the same senses, the same problems, the same needs as a human. I think it's an oversimplification to interpret human brain on its own, without the body, emotions, survival needs that brain is actually trying to solve all the time. And to take it further - do we actually need a machine that is an exact replication of a human? I guess not?
My thinking was that the whole point of human-like artificial intelligence is get us help in ambiguous environments, like in Big Data analysis, where it's actually not clear what the questions are, but the data is floating in large amounts that is too much for one human brain to absorb. Plus loads of information floating around seem to be useless - isn't it the greatest thing that the human brain can do (sometimes): to distinguish what is important and what not? And it seems that evolutionary it did so well, but now we maybe failing (I am referring to climate change etc). Maybe artificial brains can help us a bit by consolidating all the information and fishing out the patterns that we should look at in more details?
Another interesting thing of course, is the hierarchical neural networks - aren't we all now just neurons in the global brain created through Internet? And if we are - what are the implications of that? Can we benefit from that somehow?
I tend to like questions more than answers :) :) :)

Global Brain's Hemispheres

Global Brain – Hemishperes

I am playing with this idea of likening humanity on Earth to human cortex. Since metaphors are a great way to advance understanding, here we go.

Cortex is the part of human brain associated with thinking and action. It is divided into 2 hemispheres. Cortex is divided in several zones associated with processing of different information. Cortex is a hierarchical network structure. Each neuron has hundreds of thousands of connections to the other neurons. These connections connect neurons in different levels of , but also on the same level. Some connections report to the higher levels in hierarchy, but even more provide feedback to the lower levels. Neocortex is a thin layer on top of cortex. 

And now to Earth. We divide Earth to Northern and Southern hemisphere. 7 continents may be analogous to cortex lobes - I am not sure yet whether this analogy is helpful; there's certainly uniqueness to each continent, but I have very little knowledge of geography to actually grasp if there's distinct function to each continent. People can be seen as brain neurons. Indeed, we have connections within our own level, whom we call friends, relatives, classmates, and in some cases colleagues. We have connections to the higher levels – reporting to our schools, companies, institutions, governments; providing company reports on regional and national level and then governments report to cross national organisations like UN. These are not that numerous, however just like in brain, up-level reporting carries already pre-processed information. But pre-processed information also goes to the lower levels in hierarchy – to children, students, junior colleagues. These links are most numerous – the trend also repeated by the feedback functionality of the brain.

Neocortex is associated with sensory processing, language and consciousness. Human neocortex may be likened to the long distance communication systems developed by people: telegraph, radio, telephone, television and now internet. It is that thin layer that covers everything that happens on Earth. It can also be termed “self-conscious” as the information in our communication level is about us. It is not anymore functional connection like the road system, where goods are transferred. It is purely informational.

These ideas are certainly not new – many thinkers, scholars and writers have made these connections before me. What I am going to say next has occurred to me while reading about meditation. Of course, it does not mean that nobody has made this connection before, but to me it was, non-the-less, an original thought.

Meditation is a way to increase self-awareness. I am not claiming it to be the complete definition, but for the purposes of this post, this is a good start. Meditation brings higher state of consciousness, which increases interconnectedness between left and right hemispheres of the brain. Now back to Earth – Northern and Southern hemispheres are certainly connected, but there's a long-going problems of conflicts and differences between the so-called Global North and Global South. If we liken communication networks and most prominently Internet to neocortex – our Earth's consciousness is concentrated exactly there. Indeed, were there any global concern about Global North and Global South before that consciousness (radio, television, internet) appeared? Not that we know (conscious) about. 

Internet consciousness brings the problems of the world to us almost immediately – Earth's neocortex is functioning and advancing Earth's self-consciousness.  This self-consciousness has started the drive to bridge the gap between Global North and South - and, indeed, large progress has been made. Many of Global South countries, like India, China, South Korea, are closing or have already closed the development gap.  

I am wondering - what is the driving force behind all the positive changes? Of course, information is a requirement. Information is our Earth's knowledge and conscious memory. But ultimately people are making decisions. Can we say that our collective consciousness is developing? Can we liken it to the human stages of moral development (see Kohlberg's theory)?  I see signs of Level 3 - Post conventional morality with orientation of social contract and universal ethics. We start to think as citizens of Earth and inseparable parts of it. This is also manifested in the environmental movements - care of Earth's "health". 

Another bridging happens between Western and Eastern philosophies. Western science starts to recognize the wisdom of Eastern holistic medicine, mind-body connection and meditation. I believe it is largely attributed to the Western development of the Theory of Relativity - the observer is not separable from the observation, the wisdom that was present in Eastern philosophies since the time of Upanishads (at least). And East is also looking to the West: for the technical knowledge, precise sciences and lifestyles. We are getting so much more integrated, whoever it does not happen easily.

And bringing it back to meditation. Meditation is a very curious phenomenon. East claims it to lead to reaching spiritual awakening and enlightenment. And of course West is trying to measure it. And West finds some answers. Meditation causes a change in the electromagnetic waves emitted by brain, adds more order to it. And knowing electromagnetism, we can expect resonance, which indeed happens when a group of people meditate together. Further it creates electromagnetic field and from the theory of the field - it causes further alignment of brain waves for people close by, even if they are not meditating. 

What will happen if a huge amount of people around the world meditate together in the same time? Can we hope to increase interconnectedness of our Earth's brain hemispheres - whether it's North and South or East and West? Reach higher level of Earth's consciousness?

P.S. People with better knowledge on anything that I mention here – please correct me! I love to find out when I am wrong ;)

All you wanted to know, but your brain didn't let you

In our age intelligence has occupied a position of God. It exists (or we believe it does), we can't see it, but there are signs of it, everyone has opinion about it, but we can't prove it and changing the point of view – changes its definition. Jeff Hawkins in his book “On Intelligence” wittingly notices that the position of scientists (some of them) about complex and incomprehensible human brain is similar to old centuries' position about the futility of exploring the sky (where God lives) since we will never reach it. (Have you notice how the semantic of “never” changes depending on whether past or future is concerned? Compare “It has never happened before” and “It will never happen!”).

Yet, as seeking the glory of God, we are contemplating to create it: Artificial Intelligence! What a courageous pursuit to create something that we cannot yet define. J.Hawkins explores this fallacy in detail: we create robots, that can do complex calculations in nano-seconds, but cannot distinguish the picture of a dog from the picture of a cat (well, update, apparently now they often can http://xenon.stanford.edu/~pgolle/papers/dogcat.pdf). Long quantitative repetitive predictive tasks are easy for machines, yet our intelligence get tired even to remember more than 7 numbers. In the same time 6-year old will easily name a range of animals from the pictures, whereas computer will get stuck, especially if the picture is not of a full animal. Artificial Intelligence may be intelligence (depends on how you define it), but it is indeed very different from ours.
Interestingly, our brain is rather slow compared to transistors. And the information we have to deal with every second of our existence is enormous – sounds, light, people speaking, memories, books, televisions, driving – and it all changes all the time! How do we cope and even completely outperform super-fast computers with endless memories? We have an interesting brain. Surprisingly it works mostly on memories. Yes, when we need to make a new step or catch a ball – we do not calculate the trajectory and our relative positions. We just remember. Remember so well that it happens automatically. And the ultimate paradox is that any step, any ball-catch is different. We can only remember what we've learned before and yet – before we've never experienced what is happening now. And still we don't calculate as a robot would do.
No, I don't have an answer. The working hypothesis is that we only remember invariant patterns and adjust each time (I assume by remembering the adjustment pattern). It's fascinating. It's even more fascinating that you can actually try to program a brain yourself, totally free. Yes, you are welcome:

http://numenta.org/

Where are you from? - I am from science fiction

I am often asked this question: "Where are you from?". And inevitably I find the answer confusing. What do they want to know? How do they want to interpret my answer? Is it about culture that I know (adhere to?)? Is it about the country where I was born? Is it about the country I grew up? To what age? Is it about the country I know? Is it about the language that I can speak?

I happened to be born in USSR, the country that does not exist anymore. During my life there, the territory represented some confused, sometimes forced and sometimes unnoticed cultural mix. Is it something special in this world? Somehow, I think it's rather common. As a child I didn't notice any difference as my family smoothly floated between Georgian and Ukrainian republics with extended family happily spread over the rest of the space. We spoke Russian as the most convenient language that everyone understood. 

What about culture? In school we learned ukrainian, moldavian, georgian, russian and other dances and songs and optionally could learn Ukrainian language since the school was on the territory of the previous ukrainian republic. In the following years at school I've also studied English, German and Latin. Did we have any cultural traditions? foods? not really. Not that I can recall. We didn't have any cultural holidays, nor religion. Foods were specific to the region, but I'd guess more because of the availability than preference.

I keep asking myself what did I get from my parents, from my surrounding? I've spent my childhood very lonely, with school-friends living quite far away. We didn't have any particular games. And I just studied and read books. 

And yet - I am quite impressed with my own worldview, the breadth of my knowledge, interests, ability to survive and cope. Did I get to all of that myself? I was wondering...until recently I've reopened a few of science fiction books - those that I didn't touch in years, those that I've read gulping for more and more between beeing 8 and 10 years old. Yeah..that was it. Myself came from there. My ideas, my world views, my PhD in sustainability - I am just repeating all those old stories written on the thought waves of the galaxy. Not a single original thought :) :) :) Life is so transparent. I come from science fiction, that's my country, my birthplace, my sense of humour, my acceptance of difference (there's aliens out there!). In the eternity of the universe - I am quite happy to be, no need to prove anything, Just enjoy the ride and "DON'T PANIC"

Update: and just as I was finishing this post, this came around:
http://news.stanford.edu/news/2015/march/dancing-droplets-prakash-031115.html
Now, would you like to challenge your definition of life? ;)

Brain-Complexity Love Affair

Human brain is a very interesting organ. We, as humans, usually suffer from complexity and seem to get stuck in either analysis paralysis or in absurd reductionism faced with anything including more than a few processes and components. However, our brain seems to thrive on the same. It becomes very obvious in the research process. While the researcher is loading piles of information into his/her brain ( no matter how unrelated and useless it is), the brain does its job. I think, it actually enjoys it. And after all that information overload the brain just suddenly shows the path in all that chaos and the rest of the information becomes nicely classified, labeled as "important", "unimportant", "relevant", "irrelevant", "left for the future". Now I remember that this is exactly how kids learn (and how adults often forget to learn since the convenient world is already labelled).
Recently, I've listened to a course in neuroscience on decision making. At first, I found it difficult to grasp why they are talking about whether we, as humans, are in charge of our decisions. It is in fact proven that the brain makes the decision much earlier than it is presented to our conscious mind. And we only rationalize that decision afterwards to make it look as we consciously decided. Now reflecting on the brain's ability to research and analyze the information, it seems kind of obvious: our subconscious does all the work and the consciousness is only given a briefing.
Yeah, nurture your brain...Who knows what it can do to you if left neglected ;)