I Asked for Wonder

"In ancient Hebraic, this concept is known as tikkun olam; meaning repair of the world soul. This is a living concept, for it requires endeavor —a daily one, and sometimes even an hourly one. It is a commitment to a way of right conduct, a form of living meditation, a kind of contemplative pragmatic. I understand it this way: Tikkun olam is giving one's attention and resources to repair that part of the world that is right before you, precisely within your spiritual, psychological, and physical reach—according to soul's sight, not ego's alone." (J Campbell. The Hero With a Thousand Faces. Introduction to 2004 edition) This is wonderful, isn't it? Just change the world, the part that is in front of you. I always knew that of course. I wonder why do I always feel that I was stupid before - this post dates 3.5 years back and not much changed. I wonder if I actually develop in any way? What did change? I can't answer... Recently I've been discovering my old writings, still in Russian. I feel I was more clever back then. I had the power in my language...Unfortunately, I can't estimate my English. It's hard to recover years of reading. My English is too instrumental - just say what you mean, there's no game, no throwing words around where the top layer hides layers and layers of sense underneath. You can unfold the sentences. I think I've remembered about it reading about Obi Okonkwo, how he distilled the multitude of associations coming from a simple Ibo folk song, a song which seems to have no meaning at all to somebody with no knowledge of the relevant traditions. Kamo gryadeshi...where am I going? I feel like I went into the field for these 3 years and collected loads of data..I want to make sense of it now. Can I repair the world in front of me? Should I? Should I repair myself? Should I create a new world?